Wednesday December 9th
Jewel ran back and forth in the expansive yard charged with happiness that bordered on insane. She charged all the way from the hedgerow to the long driveway, then around the back of the house and back to the hedge row as if chasing an invisible rabbit. The yard was an expanse of dead brown grass littered with a few rotting leaves, shiny from an earlier rain, but the big black lab didn’t care, she was overjoyed to be back in her yard. She repeated her routine several times before sitting to rest for a moment, panting a big sloppy smile and looking back her best friend standing in the window. Soon she was off again, hedgerow, driveway, house, hedgerow, driveway, house.
“This isn’t Christmas,” Karen said looking out at her old yard and the gray sky. There had been a promising snowfall the day after Thanksgiving, but it soon melted leaving everything dirty, and brown. “There should be snow, like there used to be.”
“Christmas isn't for two weeks. Would you pay attention,” Bob said. “You see, this is what I'm talking about, this is why things turned out the way they did, I was hiring the best lawyers, while you were daydreaming out the damn window. Now for the last time I’m giving you a choice, do you want the kids on Christmas, or Christmas eve.”
“Both,” She said flatly.
“C’mon Karen, you know you can’t have them for both.”
“You asked what I wanted.”
Bob crossed his arms impatiently. It was true Karen hadn’t thought much about getting the right lawyer, and didn't do everything he asked her to do, especially when it seemed wrong, but she did fight. She fought so hard inside, her entire body felt like a bloody knuckle. She had been worn down till it felt like there was nothing left of her. If there was a reason she had lost the house and the kids, it was because of Bob’s cold hearted ambition, his mother’s money and his lack of scruples.
“Karen, why are you continuing make things difficult. You know it’s by my good graces that you can see the kids at all. Now get your ass over here and sign these papers before they get home.”
Karen tried to conceal her hand wiping a tear as she turned and sat at the dining room table.
Jewel whined when Karen had to push on her rump to get her into the back seat.
“Sorry girl. This isn’t home anymore, you know that.”
Karen sat in the driveway with her hands on the steering wheel. Maybe she if she waited long enough and went drove slowly enough down the driveway she’d see Paul, her son, get off the school bus. Paul was still her buddy, but now that he was in high school would he soon become like his sister? Once she had her license Emma had pretty much become a ghost; rarely around, and scary when she was. She had pretty much stopped talking to her mom even before the separation.
“How’d it go?” Jean said over the television when Karen walked in, though she could already tell.
Karen released Jewel from her leash and sat on the couch next to her sister.
“I brought the papers back with me. I have to sign them and have them notarized.”
“I’m sorry.” Jean took her hand. “Good riddance though, the bastard.”
“I don’t really want to talk about it. Let’s drink some wine on and watch movies all night.”
“Deal.”
Thursday December 10th
It was still early when Jewel’s nose nudged Karen’s bare arm. She pulled it back under the covers, rubbing away the cold wet spot like an itch. Soon, a small whine, a pause, then a long exasperated whine.
“Go away.”
Jewel barked.
“Oh geez. alright, alright, I’m up.”
Karen pulled her jacket on over her PJs and grabbed the leash draped over her bedroom door knob.. It was bitter cold out, but there was still no hint of snow, only dirty puddles frozen over.
Jewel finished her business on the brownish grass. Karen stooped to pick up the steaming prize with a plastic bag. Her foot went out from underneath her on a slick part of the sidewalk. In a last ditch effort to regain her balance she pushed off with her other foot which only served to launch her into cement base of the lamp post. She dropped the leash when her hands went out instinctively to break her fall. An alarming amount of pain shot from her shoulder. Karen’s cry of pain echoed off the walls of the four apartment buildings that formed a square.
Jewel bolted at the sound. She trotted away, sure she was being scolded, dragging her leash behind her.
“Jewel, come back, it’s all right, here girl.” Karen’s voice was labored with pain. Jewel stopped and turned. “Here girl, c’mon.” Karen gave a weak whistle. Jewel carefully walked back, but her foot pulled on the loose leash and she jumped causing the collar to pull tighter. She gave a little yelp and trotted away again. Karen tried to get up. Her arm shifted with caused her to cry out again at the same moment Jewel stepped on her collar. The dog broke into a run across the parking lot and between two buildings, yelping and accelerating each time her collar jerked under foot.
“Poor girl.” Karen grunted. “And poor me.”
Changing position made her want to scream, but she managed to stand without crying out again. The pain was making her dizzy. She used the lamp post as a support. She noticed a lesser pain in her knee, but it was enough to make her limp. She hobbled across the quad to where she had seen Jewel disappear.
“Jewel?... C’mon girl.” Karen said as loud as she dared at 7:00AM on a Saturday, then gave a whistle. She walked towards the row of trees that bordered the property.
“Jewwwel!” she yelled. No longer caring about the hour. “JEWWWWELLL!”
“Hey, keep it down, I’m still trying to sleep.” Said voice woman’s voice from a cracked open window in the building.
“Sorry, I’m looking for my dog, did you see a black lab?”
“No, nobody cares. Now shut the hell up!” yelled a lower voice from the same window.
Karen flipped a bird behind her without turning her eyes from the tangle of shrubs and small trees beyond the apartments. In a hurried limp she went back to the apartment to grab her keys.
She inched along the streets looking left and right. She endured rude honks from drivers passing by. She was impervious. She pulled in behind shopping centers and the parking lots of other apartment complexes, her eyes scanning like lasers for a black dog.
“Where have you been?” Jean said when Karen dragged herself in two hours later.
“Jewel took off on me.”
“And what happened to your arm.” Jean noticed her sister cradling it gingerly.
“I fell. If only there was snow. I could’ve followed her tracks.”
Jean rose from the couch and helped Karen sit down.
“We gotta get you to a doctor.”
“Later, when we find Jewel.”
“Maybe she headed back home…” Jean looked up sheepishly, “I mean, ya know, the old home.”
“I thought of that. I went there and back, twice.”
Karen’s phone rang. It was Bob.
“Thank God, maybe he found her. Hi Bob?”
“Karen… It’s Jewel.”
“Oh God, she ran off on me this morning. What is it?”
“The Sheriff called. Jewel ran in front of a car. I guess it was on Beals Road, right before the canal bridge. Seems like she was heading back home.”
“Is she, is she okay?”
“I’m afraid not Karen. She was killed.”
Karen felt a fist grab her inside. She couldn’t talk, she couldn’t breath. She leaned against the wall and slowly slid to the floor.
“Karen? Did you let her get out? How could you be so irresponsible. I don’t know what I’m going to tell the kids…”
“What? What happened?” Jean said kneeling by Karen’s side. “What’s going on?”
A sob finally choked some air into Karen’s windpipe. She could still barely make a sound.
“Where. Is She?” Karen choked out in strained syllables.
Bob continued his scolding. It was just noise through the roar of the clenched sobs in her ears.
“Where is she?” She tried again. Bob continued.
“Where is she?” Karen screamed in a burst between her convulsions.
Bob was silent. “Jesus Karen… She’s... I don’t know, I suppose the Sheriff has her.”
Karen ended the call without saying another word. She struggled to her feet, fished for the keys in her jacket pocket and made her way slowly to the door.
“Karen, Karen, what’re you doing? C’mon, talk to me Karen.”
“I’m going to get my dog.” She said softly.
Jean held her sister. “I know, I know. Just do me one favor and let me drive you, kay sweetie?”
“May I help you?” said the clerk at the county animal control center.
“I want my dog.”
“I’m afraid you’ll have to be…”
“There was an accident this morning.” Jean intervened.
“Oh, ah... yes.” The clerk glanced behind him.
Karen spotted a large garbage bag on a table towards the back of the room. She pointed to it.
“Is that her?” She said flatly.
“Ma’am if you could fill out..”
“Is that her? Is that my dog, in that God, damned, garbage bag?”
“Please, if you could just…”
Karen walked around the end of the counter, lifted up the barrier and marched to the back of the room. The clerk followed her with a stream of entreaties that devolved into frantic passive threats. Karen couldn’t hear a word. She gently scooped up Jewel with both arms, ignoring the pain in her shoulder. She walked out of the office and got in the car. Jean emerged from the office a few minutes later.
“Everything’s okay, she said.”
“Everything is a long, long way off from ‘okay’.” Karen said.
“I know, I know. I meant with..” Jean touched her sister’s shoulder. “I know.”
“My poor good girl.” she said softly. “We're going to take you home now. We’re going to take you back to your old yard.”
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