Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Detour, Part II

This second half of the story will make more sense it you read Part I first below.

Nathan and Annabelle sat unmoving in his car. It had been seven minutes and twenty three seconds since he had thrown his BMW in Park. Engines in the cars on the detour around him turned off one by one. The Astrovan ahead of them went silent, the exhaust pipe shuttered briefly, then was still. Nathan let out a labored sigh and shut his own engine off.

“I'm going to find out what's going on.”

He opened the door and got out. He walked up to the mini van. The windows were all open. The driver was in his forties, a thick black mustache hid his lips. He was leaned forward with both hands still on the wheel. He didn't seem to notice Nathan standing there. Nathan felt like he knew the guy after staring at his van and the graphic of his family and pets.

“This is crazy huh? What do you think is going on? Did you see any construction? It's Miguel, right?”

The man turned and looked at Nathan.

“No, no... see the picture on the back of your van, it says 'Miguel' so I...”

The man said nothing. His hands never left the wheel.

“Okaaay... Ah, no hablo? Right-right. That's cool.” Nathan walked ahead to the next car, an old 280Z. The windows were up. Nathan had to bend down and shield his eyes against the headlights of the minivan to see in. Nathan waved to get his attention the guy just stared forward wearily gripping his steering wheel.

Nathan made his way up the line of cars. Annabelle watched him until he passed into the dark and out of view.

She whistled a little tune.

“Getting chilly out there,” Nathan said closing the door and rubbing his shoulders. “I can't believe we're in the friggin' country, 'howdy do' and all that, and I'm the friendliest guy out there. I must have walked up a quarter of a mile. Not one of these idiots will say a word to me, not one. Weird!”.
“I could have told you that,” said Annabelle.
“You'd think people would want to stretch their legs at least.”
“You'd think.”

Headlights turned off one by one. Nathan's blueish halogens were soon the only light visible. Air escaped from Nathan's lips after a while. He reluctantly switched them off.

Nathan settled in his seat. He couldn't get comfortable. In the silence, every move he made against the black leather seemed embarrassingly loud, obnoxious even. There was no noise from Annabelle's side of the car.

He flattened his palm against the blue and white checkers of the BMW logo on his steering wheel. The horn exploded into the dark silence like a flash of sound and a mushroom cloud of reverb. He held it down hard until he was sure there was no doubt how pissed-off he was. Then, he held it there a little longer.

Nathan expected to here a cacophony of horns after his own. People often followed his leads, especially when descent was ripe.

Not a sound. The horn blast was swallowed by the night.

Miguel in the minivan was jolted awake by the horn blast. He gripped the steering wheel hard until he could convince himself that he had not fallen asleep driving down the freeway; then that's why he was there, why they were all there. He looked at the strange woman in his passenger seat.

Debo estar loco. ¿De dónde vienes señora? ¿Dónde está mi familia?”
tal vez debería volver y encontrarlos.”

“Feel better?” said Annabelle after Nathan had released the horn.
“What?”
“After yanking the chain on your steam whistle there Casey Jones. Did that help?”
“I don't get it. Why aren't these other people pissed off? They're all sitting here, just taking it, like lambs to the slaughter.”
“Not you though.”
“Hell no! If I was passive like the rest of these victims, I'd still be in the mail room and driving a shit box like that one. Look at these idiots, there aren't even any road cones, someone could just drive off through this field or whatever-the-hell-this-is and escape.”
“So what's holding you back? She said.
“Are you kidding, this is a B. M. W. -have some rock take out my oil pan, or catalytic converter, no thanks, I'll wait with the cattle.”

He clicked on the GPS. Her face glowed in the soft blue light.

Searching...

Searching...

“You're not cattle yourself, just stuck amongst them?”
“I learned to get what I want. It's not my fault that someone else settles for less, allows themselve to be taken advantage of. It's not my fault that they don't want it as bad. That's what makes them cattle and me, not.”
“Desperation?”
“Ambition, taking responsibility for getting what you want out of life.”
“A Beemer.”
“'B... M... W' Among other things.”

Searching...

“What about your son?”
“They'll be more time for him later. I can't slack off now, I'm making hay you know?”
“Hay?”
“Hay, while the sun shines... money, success.”

Searching...

No Signal

“So that's what you want?” said Annabelle.
“I want out of here that's what I want.”
“It's kinda nice. You see stars.”
Annabelle pointed up through the moon roof. Nathan glanced up with his eyes only.
“I just want outta here,” he said.

Car engines began starting up in the distance and closer until the brake light on the Astrovan painted their faces red. Nathan shifted impatiently in his seat. Annabelle kept looking up through the moon roof. The odd tree branch passed overhead.

The line of cars and trucks slowly rolled forward. The BMW rocked over gentle bumps in the grass. The ghosts of trees appeared at the edge of the dark. The path began to slope upwards.

Nothing had been said for several minutes. Nathan clicked on the radio out of boredom.

Static.

The path sloped down then leveled off. Dust rose in the air ahead. Gravel crunched under the succession of tires.

“A road! It's about damn time!” Nathan exclaimed.
“We're always on a road,” said Annabelle.
“Do you always have to do that... Chief Sitting Bullshit.”
“I have ironic slogans on my panties too, wanna see?”
“You know I do.”
“C'mon, lets pull off and make out!” she said smiling.
“But we're finally getting somewhere.”
“This crowd? Don't be too sure. Who cares anyway?”
“Annabelle listen, I'd love to fool around with you,” his hand moved to her thigh, “just hold that thought for a few minutes and let's see what happens,” he said.
“Suit yourself.”

The traffic was moving faster. Nathan's BMW shifted into second gear briefly.

“I wish these trees weren't so close, I really want to pass this dude, minivan Miguel here. He's got a whole football field in front of him.”
“Stop!” said Annabelle.
“What?”
“Stop the car!”
“What? Here?”
“Just stop!”

The black luxury sedan crunched to a halt. A cloud of dust drifted by them. The line of cars compacted behind them stopping one after the other.

“What is it?” Nathan said.
“There's a road. Don't you see it?”

Nathan's window whined and slid open with a solid shunk. Another gravel road intersected the first at a perfect ninety degrees. It headed off into the darkness both to the left and right.

Let's go!” she said.
Go where?”
Wherever, down the road.”
Which way?”
Take your pick? Where's that take-charge spirit of yours when you were driving all over people just to get a couple car lengths ahead?”

In the clearing dust Nathan could see the gravel of the other road in the collective of headlights. Not a single tire print.

I don't know. Where would this take us.”
Might just take you all the way handsome.” Annabelle winked.
He laughed. “Tempting, but...”
“But not quite enough,” she said.
Annabelle reached down and picked up her purse. She leaned over and gave Nathan a kiss.
“It's been a pleasure traveling with you tonight Nathan. Give my love to your son when you see him.”

Her purse on her shoulder and began walking down the road that extended to the right. Nathan jumped out of the car and laid his arms on top.
“Annabelle! C'mon, what's wrong? Come back.”
“I'm right here Nathan. Come with me, let go of all that crap that you are afraid of, leave that precious car of yours and lets walk down this road. You won't regret it. ”
“I thought you dug the car."
"It's you I like Nathan, not the car, not the money. It's the same for you son by-the-way.”
“Annabelle, what's wrong? What'd I do?”
“Don't get this wrong Nathan, I'm not a girlfriend, not a date, not the way you're used to, I'm not hurt or upset. It's just time, you can come with me or go on your way, it's not too late but it is time for you to make a decision.
“You're insane, where are you going? You're going off alone in the middle of nowhere.”
“Just like when I found you. Go... go see your son Nathan, he misses you more than you let yourself believe.”
“But Annabelle!”
“Be well handsome.”

Nathan was speechless. He watched her walk away into the black of the wooded road. He got back inside and looked at her through the window but she was already gone. Cars were beginning to honk behind him.

He clutched the steering wheel and looked ahead. What the hell had just happened?

More honking.

“Shit! Alright, alright you morons. I've spent a lifetime trapped behind your slow asses. It's not like you're going to get very far.”

The BMW spit a fist full of vengeful gravel and lurched forward. Literally and deliberately, he left the honking cars in the dust. All too soon he was looking at the rear of the Astrovan and following the line of brake lights leading off into the dark of the trees. No one had run out of gas pulled off to the side, he wondered why. He checked his tank, it was pegged at full.

The grade of the road increased again. He could hear a truck laboring in a low gear up ahead. The road had degraded some sort of logging road: two ruts with a patch of grass between. Nathan had to slow for deep pockets that had been large puddles at one time. The path began to curve more left and right. Keeping half an eye on the road, he grabbed his phone from his attache and turned in on.

Zero bars

He tossed the phone into the empty passenger seat. He missed her, not the usual: too-bad-I-didn't-get-laid; she had been sitting there for less than three hours and now there was a new empty spot on that half of the car. He pictured her walking down that mysterious road in the pitch black, smoking a cigarette and whistling a little tune. He it hear it as plain as if she were in his own head.

He started humming along.

Between the notes, it hit him. If he ever escaped this bizarre detour he would drive through the night, what was left of it, and see his son on his birthday and every one after that, every soccer game, every play, whenever he needed him he'd be there. No excuses!

The traffic seemed more infuriating than ever. Maybe he could turn around and go back to that other road, find another way back to a real highway, town, a cel signal, a farm house and a phone with a rotary dial... anything! What if he could find Annabelle, she could get him back, he'd introduce her to his son. She was a powerful ally, he never should have let her go.

The trees were so close now there was no room to pull off, say nothing of turning around and going back. If anyone had engine trouble they'd all be screwed. The canopy of branches overhead had grown lower, thicker. He could see broken branches from trucks. Whoever had laid-out this detour really had there head up their ass.

A branch scraped against his door.

“Jesus! If there's a scratch, Caltrans is going to hear from my lawyer.”

Nathan amused himself imagining Miguel showing some Caltrans exec the damage to his crappy-ass Astrovan, his wife following behind, chattering-on in angry Spanish.

The Astrovan pulled further ahead. It was getting difficult to keep centered on the track without more scratches to his BMW. Likewise, the line of cars behind him was more spread out, he could only make out two or three sets of headlights in his rear view mirror. The path turned sharply to the right.

“Damn, glad I'm not driving a truck. Those dudes have got to be pissed!”

The narrow turn was impossible for a truck. No damage to trees or branches. Where had the trucks gone?

More branches screeched across the black sedan. Nathan cringed and swore. The Astrovan was far up the hill, in-fact, he could only see the slight glow from the single working tail light on the overhead trees. The car behind him had not yet reached the sharp turn. Nathan suddenly felt lonely for the his friend Miguel, driving that horrible minivan and the stupid cartoon family staring at him. Nathan drove faster. Branches smacked and scraped along his paint job, it didn't matter now.

Nathan crested a hill hoping to see the friendly red tail light but there was only a glow, even more faint than it was before. He drove even faster, thirty... forty... the scratches against the sides of his beautiful car was a constant scream. He steered the narrow path with the concentration of a Grand Prix driver on a wet track. Fifty miles per hour on a logging road or whatever the hell this was. The car lurched and rumbled on the uneven track. He briefly caught air over a large bump. A low hanging branch banged against the roof, he landed and bottomed-out the four-way active computer controlled suspension. The noise was horrible like the sound of one's own bones breaking.

“HOLY SHIT!”

He did not slow. He was fighting now, fighting this road, this damn forest, fighting his way to his fellow detourees, fighting his way out of this mess so he could see his son.

Nathan flew up over a rise.

More air; a long one. Worthy of a Hollywood stunt.

The BMW tipped nose down as it went earthward. His headlights shined down on a log laying across the path. Nathan closed his eyes.

Impact!

The nose of the car dug into the dirt. A terrible sound. It sheered off the bumper cover and rolled it under him crumpled up like a piece of paper. The car slid to a halt the log jammed against the rear wheels.

Dust flew around him. Nathan sat at the wheel breathing hard. He wiped a single tear from his eye. He had been gripping the steering wheel so hard with his sweaty hands it was sticky. In his rear view he looked white as a ghost.

No cars ahead or behind.

He was alone.

He opened his window. Twigs slapped in, he fought them with his hands. He turned on his high beams, halogen fog lights, hazards, dome light, map light... anything he could think of to illuminate this strange place he found himself in. The growth was thick. Even walking through it would be difficult. Some of the branches had sharp spikes growing from them. Though it was early September, there was not a single green leaf to be seen. All the branches were bare and gray, He tried to open his door. He could only work it open a couple of inches against the forest.

“What is this,” Nathan said in a deep swallowed voice. “What the fucking hell is this.”

He shut off his engine. There was a hollow silence.

“HELLO!” he screamed. “ANYONE!... WHAT IS THIS!

“ANNABELLE... ANNNNAABELLLLE! ARE YOU OUT THERE?”

His voice was sucked into the forest without an echo.

“I've got to get out of here! Where I can at least get out of this damn car, I've got to find Annbelle.”

Nathan started his engine.

Reverse.

The tires spun against the log.

Faster.

Rubbing, squealing.

Faster.

Smoke.

Nathan swore as he slammed his transmission into drive. He didn't want to any further but his temperament wouldn't let him stay in one place.

He rolled forward slowly. Branches screeched on all sides. Twigs whipped his face through the open window. It wouldn't close.

The track was no longer any sort of road. A single footpath. Nathan forced his sedan through the underbrush. Tears streamed down his face.

“I'm tryin' Zachary, I'm tryin'. Your dad's trying to get home to you buddy. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry...”

Nathan repeated his promises and apologies over and over. His words seemed to slur into the hum of the engine.

Down the path the passable clearance grew smaller and smaller like a constricting tunnel, the growth thicker, the grass and brush taller. At any point he might grind to a complete stop and be stuck forever, but he kept moving.

Forward.

Forward.

Underbrush filled his windshield, he could not even see his headlights. The branches turned to small twigs and the twigs became grass-like fibers as if he was being squeezed through the inside of a bail of hay. The endless scrapping on all sides of the car morphed into a dull roar.

Nathan was no longer driving. His wheels were not on any sort of ground. His engine dieseled and sputtered to a stop, yet he kept moving slowly forward, pushed through this dense tunnel by some unseen pressure behind him. He was not steering. There was no left or right; only forward, slowly forward. He would have taken his hands off the wheel... if he could.

He would be screaming... if he could.

It had been hours maybe. What's an hour? It had been a long time and a numbers of long times strung together. Nathan's windshield was filled with a solid mass of dirt and gravel inching slowly to the sides and past his moon roof. It was packed so tightly only small pieces of it fell in through his open window. All around him was nothing but the soft rubbing sound of his car inching forward.

On.

On.

He moved slower and slower until, almost imperceptibly, he stopped.

Trapped.

He remembered faintly telling a joke about wanting to be buried in his BMW. He felt the hints of an unpleasant sensation.

Nausea.

Nathan did not move. It was something he no longer did.

He was the same yellowish white color as the seat, the steering wheel, the dashboard...

There was a noise. Scraping, lifting. A massive grooved pink object pressed over his window and against his shoulder. It was warm.

Up.

Dirt fell away from around the car. Daylight stabbed his eyes. They wouldn't close. Nathan felt himself moving as if in an elevator going many stories.

Up.

An immense eye looked straight at Nathan where he sat motionless behind the wheel.

“Annabelle!”

She was dressed differently. A conservative yellow dress, her hair up in a bun, glasses. She smiled at the little man behind the wheel.

“There you are,” she said.

She brushed dirt away from the car and polished it a little on the hem of her dress. She placed the car in her purse and continued down the path. Sun dappled through the leaves in dancing patterns. She sat on a bench and whistled a tune. Nathan knew it well.

“What's the matter? You look kinda sad.” she said to the boy who sat down on the other side of the bench. The boy said nothing. She looked up at a group of kids and parents at a nearby set of picnic tables. A colorful piñata dangled from a tree branch.

“Sometimes birthday parties aren't much if somethings bothering you huh?”
“It's my birthday,” said the boy.
“Happy Birthday.”
“Thanks,” he said.
“Your party didn't turn out like you hoped?”
“It's okay I guess. I was hoping my dad would come.”
“Maybe's he's just late.”
“Nah, he never comes. I was just hoping.”
“You can't let that get you down. Looks like everyone is having a lot of fun.”
“He didn't call either. And...” The boy picked at a chip of paint on the bench. “The phone rang late last night. My mom didn't know I was awake. She was real upset about the call. This morning, she wouldn't tell me who called or what happened. She's pretending like nothing happened, but I'm worried about my dad.”
“I'm sorry to hear that,” Annabelle said.
“Thanks,” said the boy.
“You know, Annabelle said opening her purse. “I might just have something for a boy who isn't having the best birthday.”
She handed him a small black toy car. A plastic man was at the wheel. A little phone, a bump in the plastic, was sitting on the seat next to him.
“It's just like my dad's new car!” he said.
“It's yours, if you want it.”
“Sure, thanks Mrs...”
“Ms. Jude, Annabelle.”
“Thanks Ms. Jude.”

Nathan looked back at his son through his plastic windshield. “He's getting so big,” he said somewhere inside. He laughed at the irony.

The boy walked back to the party flicking the wheels of his new car. Annabelle got up from the bench and walk down the path.

Whistling a little tune.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Detour, Part I

(c) 2011 Joel T Johnson

Nathan was at one with his car. The dash lights of his BMW were dimmed to perfect level. The six parameters of the motorized seat were adjusted to his precise size and posture and locked into both memory settings. He was cruising North on the 101, slicing through the night without apology. His automobile was so responsive, it was like merely thinking his way around the scattered traffic, like he himself was the car, gliding and sliding from lane to lane like, a speed skater. The slower cars (all of them) were like static objects to slalom around; there just to make things more interesting. No music; late at night with the warmth of two martinis in his blood, he preferred the sound of the road. Driving at over a hundred with the windows and moon roof cracked open was entertainment enough.

Nathan's phone was powered down and packed away in his attache. The deal was done, slam dunk! He could almost feel the back slaps on Monday. Once again he had saved their sorry asses. After weeks of wining and dinning degenerate aldermen, getting them laid, he could take a breath and think about getting himself a piece of ass for a change. For now, his reward was the silence and peace of a late night drive to nowhere the anticipation of what—or who—was to come. He had all weekend; maybe he'd end up in San Francisco or some nice Inn along the coast, as long as there was a bar and some lucky bimbo.

No one saw her emerge from the dark surrounding the gas station off a remote section of freeway. She walked as she might along a path in park on a sunny Saturday. She whistled a little tune. The clerk didn't notice that there were no cars in the spaces or at the pumps when she paid for her Camels and a Bic with a fifty.

“I can't take a bill like that after midnight.” he said.
“Keep the change,” she said.
“You don't understand, I can't drop that bill in the safe, I'll get in trouble.”
“I'll tell you what,” she said, articulating, “I'll pay you fifty dollars to let me walk out of here with cigarettes,” she held them up, “and a lighter,” she held it up. “You can figure out the rest without my help I think.”

The clerk slowly pulled the Jackson off the counter and stuffed it in his pocket.

Nathan pulled turned off the freeway ramp and into the gas station. The island lights made elongated, aerodynamic amoeba patterns on his sleek 750i. An attractive woman smoked a cigarette just outside the door., the fingers of her free arm hooked on her elbow.

She didn't look at him, she didn't avoid looking at him. He found an excuse to go into the store after he replaced the pump. He smiled when he passed her.

She did not.

She was young but dressed smartly, a business person of some sort, cool, confident, sexy as hell. He'd seen heels like those on women getting out of Bentleys, she was not for want of money. If Nathan had dreamed up a girl more his type to encounter in the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere, he wouldn't have done as well.

He came back out of the store with a package of beef jerky and cup of coffee. He stopped outside the door. He stared out into the night towards the silent freeway. The woman glanced at him after a while.

“It's possible that I'm waiting for someone.”
“That's nice.” Said Nathan. He laughed nervously. “I didn't, um...”
“Didn't you?”
“Okay, a little curious--girl like you.” He looked around.

She didn't respond. Nathan took a sip of coffee and rocked back in a mock stretch.
“Car trouble? Boyfriend coming to pick you up?”
“There's no car, but I suspect there's trouble out there somewhere. To be honest, I'm not sure who I'm waiting for. It could even be you 'Robb Report'.”
“Oh hey, hey, I'm not looking for...”
“Oh please, do I even look like that?”
“Not remotely.” He laughed. He offered her a piece of jerky. She only stared at it.
“Nice car... Yours?” she said.
“Yeah, of course.”
“Let's get out of here Robb.” She stepped on her cigarette and started walking towards the black beemer.

Nathan almost choked on the coffee he had just sipped.

He pressed the start button. The instrument panel came to life and chimed. The engine roared somewhere deep inside itself, but was barely a whisper where they sat.

“I just wrapped-up a honey of a deal, on little victory drive, you know? I'm headed North... just wherever.”
“Fantastic,” she said. She extended her hand. “Annabelle Jude.”
“It's Nathan, not Robb Report.” He shook her hand.
“Yeah I know.”
“You know my name?”
“I know you're a still few paychecks short of making the cover.”

She winked.

She had a champion handshake. This girl has closed a few deals of her own, played the big leagues in one commodity or another.

The freeway was empty. Radar on, he took her up to ninety. Annabelle said nothing.

One-Oh-Five.

Nothing.

Traffic was starting to show up again. The passing lane filled with cars passing a wide load. Nathan slowed to eighty. Without hesitation he eased off the pavement to the left shoulder around the other cars. The driver's side wheels sped on the gravel like it was glass. A Ford focus had cleared the truck but was clearly offended by Nathan's bold maneuver and did not yield the lane. The Ford accelerated for all it was worth, attempting shut out Nathan. Nathan hit the floor and his car easily out-gunned the the Focus. Just before Nathan sacheted back onto the pavement, a good sized rock pinged his undercarriage.

He flinched, as if he himself had been wounded. “Damn it!” He eyed Annabelle without looking. She reached up and adjusted the temperature for her side for the car.

“What is it with you type “A”s and Beemers?” she said after a while.
“I dunno, only make I've ever driven,” he said. “Borrowed my dad's old 320 through college. Got my first after graduation, an eighty-nine, terrible shape. I spent more time under the hood than behind the wheel. God I loved that car! This is my third, the first one dealer new. By-the-way: true BWM folks never call them 'beemers'.”
“Adorable,” she said. “But why a Beemer? What's wrong with a Porsche? Stud like you.”
“The car is part of the image, you should know that. A Porsche—at least you pronounced it correctly—it, says that a man is more interested in his own dick than doing business. Mercedes: old money, says your inflexible. 'adventure' weekend vehicles, Jeeps and shit, say: not enough commitment, SUVs and crossovers, too many, Hummer's and custom pickups are no different than driving beat-up Japanese piece of crap; no dick, no self respect. Volvos; too political, Subarus; way too political—you've got issues bro. Audis; close, but no cigar.”
“Does this have the V8 four-point-four, or the V12 six liter?”
“This is a 750i, the V12 is the 760.” He looked at her. “Wow, I think I just fell in love. You know the 7 Series?”
“In my business I find it's good to know men and the things they love, what they're afraid of.”
“What business is that?” said Nathan.
“Lost causes, one could say”
“Junk bonds huh?”
Annabelle laughed. “Similar.”

Nathan gave her a nice long up and down. It was time to test the waters a bit. Was this foreplay, or 'chore-play'. She certainly felt his eyes on her but said nothing. Her eyes, like the headlights, looked only foreward.

“You're very beautiful Annabelle.”

She smiled.

Headlights.

Nathan took a breath.

“What are we doing here?” he said.
“I hope you're not this quick and eager on all your closes.”
“Well sweetheart, a strange, very beautiful woman gets in my car in the middle of nowhere, and believe me, I'm good with it all. I'm just not sure what to call it.”
“Call it kismet... or maybe 'George'.”
“Yeah? You gunna respect me after 'George'?”
“You assume I respect you now.”
“And she's funny too. I just gotta wonder just what kind of woman turns up at a gas station without a car in the middle of the night.”
Annabelle leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “You worry too much.”
“What me worry?” Nathan made a face.

She laughed.
“You gotta wife?”
“Divorced, you?”
“Nope, no wife,” she said. “Kids?”
“Yeah, I have a... Oh crap. I can't believe it. Shit!” He smacked the steering wheel and waited for her to inquire.

She said nothing.

“My son, it's his birthday tomorrow...” Nathan looked at his Rolex, “today now. I promised... Ah shit.” Nathan flicked the steering wheel. “I've broken a bunch of those lately.”
“It's not too late. You could head back now, be there by morning.”
Nathan glanced over.
“How do you know where he is?”
“If you're not LA from head to toe, I'll shave my head.”
“Damn, rely on stereotypes much?”
“Every day. So do you handsome.”

Nathan for waited a prescribed amount of silence to pass.

“So, where are we going Annabelle? Where are you from?”
“Neither of us are going very far,” she said, “look!”

On the next hill, brake lights were multiplying. The mist over the rise glowed a steady red.

“Awe crap!”

Nathan held his speed and dodged cars. At the crest of the hill they saw it: his freeway, the surging veins of a young man, had crumbled into the angina of road construction. Yellow lights flashing arrows closed the right lane half a mile ahead. Nathan continued to dispatch the cars in front of him at speed.

“You've got to act while you can, before we get blocked in,” he said. “I could be saving us hours right here.”
“Please! Do you think I'm from the past or something?”

Ahead, an old Honda crept into the passing lane next to a Hyundai with dealer plates. By all indications they were moving at the exact same speed.

Nathan flashed his brights at the offending car as he closed-in fast. The Honda was unmoved. Nathan braked hard.

“Whoa Nelly!” laughed Annabelle.

This pissed him off a little, he was doing battle here. Was she making light or making fun? He flashed his brights a few more times and laned back and forth twice behind the slow movers trying to pick a winner.

“You morons... C'mon tards, somebody do something for fuck's sake.”

The Honda progressed like a minute hand despite helpful comments from Nathan. The moment there was a car length of space behind the Honda and in front of the Hyundai, he dove into the free lane and rocketed away. Nathan dodged around a few more cars then took to the right lane as everyone else had merged left in anticipation of the closed lane. A red pickup with a patriotic bumper sticker was halfway between the lanes, holding his place in line while policing the empty lane from anyone bold enough to poach their way to the end. Nathan merely past him on the shoulder without slowing and gunned his way to the bitter end where the road cones sliced into the lane. He nosed his way in front of a white hatchback like a gear in a cog.

In line: the part Nathan hated, cattled into a chute with no way out. His view would not change for a while now and it was one he grew to despise in under a minute.

A mini van, worse, an Astrovan, dusty and faded, inched along in front of him. It's right tail light cover was missing and replaced with red tape. The light itself wasn't working anyway and the working one seemed twice as bright as it was supposed to be. When the brake light was not blinding him, his entire view consisted of Jesus bumper sticker in Spanish, a radio station slogan in the same and a line-up of tall-to-short decals of a family, plus two dogs and a cat. They took up the entire rear window. Cartoon Miguel, Felicia, Hector, Edgar, Martin, Juanita, Pilar, Miedo, Sisi and Tigre stared at him, all grinning from ear to ear, smug that they were one place ahead of him in line.

The traffic moved slowly forward; not slow enough to stop, but not fast enough not let it idle along without hitting the brakes every few seconds. Nathan shifted in his seat and hung his wrist over the top of the wheel. He adjusted his visor repeatedly to block out the beaming single laser bright brake light. It didn't work.

“Tell me about your son,” Annabelle said.
“Good kid.” Nathan exhaled.

She looked at him, waiting for more. “Yeah... apparently.”
“No, I mean... Well, I was just thinking... he's getting big, so fast.”
“How old?”
“Seven... no wait, eight... or is he turning eight? He starts third grade next week. Geez!”
“Got a picture.”
“On my phone I do, it's turned off.”
“So, you know the specs of your car and give me a life history of all your beemers...”
“BMWs.”
Beemers... and I have to ask you about him to get two words about your son and you have to stop and think about his age.”
“You think I love my car more than my son?”
“No, no I don't think so, but the car is a lot easier, isn't it? ”

She redid her pony tail, holding her hair band in her teeth while she ran her hands through her hair. He was grateful she didn't push the issue. He was already feeling trapped. It was pretty obvious she wasn't going to reveal much about herself so he didn't push either. He didn't want to kill his chances for later. Even the damn traffic didn't seem so bad with those legs to look at. There was a serenity to her as well that calmed him a bit. She was as un-phased by his take-charge driving as she was by being stopped dead in some God forsaken field. He wanted to tell her she was beautiful again but he held his tongue.

The K-rail moved them across the right lane then off onto the shoulder where a quickie paving job made a temporary third lane which lasted for only two miles, but the thirty minutes it took made it seem like a whole zip code. The K-rail disappeared, thin orange barrier markers took it's place. He chit chatted with Annabelle, hoping to learn something about her but her pleasant redirects always brought the conversation back to him and before he knew it, he had revealed another chapter of his life to her.

An orange sign up ahead, he couldn't read it yet, not an official sign, just a four-by-two piece of plywood written on with spray paint by some construction worker.

“What's that sign say?” he asked.
“Detour.” Annabelle said.
“Shit, really? This is going from bad to worse. You can really see that far in the dark?”
“What else would it say?”

Closer to the sign he could seen the traffic moving off the shoulder and down an incline. Nathan steered his auto between the cones. They left the pavement and guided the traffic onto two tracks of well-matted grass. The road cones ended and the traffic was guided only by the tracks in the grass. The tracks led the cars and trucks downhill away from the freeway, through a hedge row via a mound of dirt and continued on matted grass. The world was black outside the headlights and tail lights. Nathan opened his window to see if he could get a better look at his surroundings. He got a face full of exhaust fumes.

“Man, this just sucks.” Nathan said, coughing.

The minivan ahead of him came to a halt. Nathan inched forward with several jerky brake holds until the cartoon family filled his windshield.

Completely stopped.

“Shit. This is weird man, really weird.”
“What are you worried about Nathan? You got someplace to be—you know besides back to for your son's birthday? This is an adventure, enjoy it.”
“I prefer adventures I'm in control of.”
“I think you need to look up the definition of 'adventure'.”

Annabelle reached over and massaged his shoulder. Nathan would normally, almost involuntarily, have  suggested something lewd. “A slap on the face is well-worth knowing if you're wasting your time,” he would tell his friends. He said nothing to Annabelle. His shoulder was tight, he needed the rub.


Part II of “Detour” next Saturday.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Colorado, Part III


Aug 22 '76
Colo

Matt and I slept in Dave and Hugh's Room. They'll (sleep) down stares

The next morning I arose early. The toy helicopter we'd been denied access to the day before had been in my dreams ever since, and I wanted my shot at it. Hugh was sleeping nearby like that bulldog that was always kicking the crap out Sylvester the cat, so I only got a couple of minutes of glorious tethered circular flight before I was discovered and shut down. An argument ensued and it was suggested by the adults that we find something to do outdoors.

We soon forgot all about the helicopter.

David R.” the next door neighbor, also my age, was one of the coolest kids I had ever met. He had a 8-track cassette of the hit trucker song “Convoy” and other current music that impressed us. He had bright blond hair, a deep tan and most of all, a trampoline! 
 
 The trampoline is at the top of this drawing.

It wasn't just any trampoline. It was set in a large hole his dad had had excavated so the tramp was flush with the ground. One simply walked out on it instead of having to climb up, plus if one went tumbling off there wasn't far to fall. 

David R. and my cousin Dave were quite good and could do all sorts of tricks but my brother and I set right out to practice all we could. I don't remember Hugh being around, he was probably inside playing with the helicopter or sleeping.

uc ucu (Uncle) chuck took us to see flash flood Debris. Hugh slept on chuckwag. Had (hard) time, kept rolling off (we) tried to hold (him) back was told not to let go He fell down Woke up went up to bed and doozed off.

Three weeks before, the Big Thompson Canyon flood had done $35 million in damages, taking out bridges and roads, and killed 139 people in around the nearby Estes Park. Uncle Chuck was a volunteer fireman and had worked on some of the rescues and clean-up. He drove us, in our own van, around to see the damage. A police road block prevented us from seeing very much. As a fireman Chuck could have gotten through the road block but... “I doubt I'll be able to convince then with these New York plates.” he lamented as we turned back.

The narcoleptic Hugh was fast asleep on top of the chuck wagon in the back of the van most of the time. We had great fun laughing at him when he would roll over on top of Dave and I who were sitting on the bench just in front of the chuckwagon/bed. Hugh would wake up and groggily complain that we were shoving him. When we arrived home. Hugh remained asleep and we were told to just leave him be. We complied only partly, staying behind in the yard to see how long it would be before he awoke to an empty van in his own driveway. When he finally arose, he staggered past our giggling at him, up to his room and went right back to sleep.

Met aunt Vi and Dady Charles at sup. (supper)

These were my mom's aunt and uncle. I remember them as any eleven-year-old would, just a couple more old folks that I was compelled to be nice to until they were done inspecting me for whatever old folks found fascinating about kids and I was excused to going back to being loud and unruly with the kids they had already inspected.

aug 23
Colo

Went to rocky mt. n.p. (Rocky Mountain National Park) Hugh slept all the way and rolled off the chuckw. Saw chipmonks at over looks went to Cont. Divide got headache

Uncle Chuck had to work and Aunt Carrol was busy with the baby so just Hugh and Dave went with us to the park to camp overnight. My five-year-old sister was also left behind. Chipmunks weren't that unusual to me but I had never seen the tame people-fed national park chipmunks before. I was intrigued that they didn't run away and seemed to acutally be saying. “What, you never seen a chipmunk before? So shut your gappin' jaw and make with the bread and the chips and such.”

The headache I got was certainly from the altitude. Loveland itself is over five thousand feet.


Aug 24
Colo

Viseted Cent. City, (Century City-a ghost town turned tourist attraction) Saw lost goldmine real gold ore! Saw glass blower made glass swans
Saw face painted on barroom floor. Saw old cemetary, (spooky.)
Hugh Dave matt Dad mom and me camped out had spaghetti and meet balls

On our tour they took us into an old gold mine and told us there was actual gold ore dust still in the walls. I was standing next to a wall as everyone exited the cave I thought how cool would it be if I just had a few grains of real gold ore. Hey, what difference would it make? I brushed some of the loose ore into my hand from the wall. The tour guide saw me and chastised me in front of the whole tour group. I felt like a criminal, worse, I had embarrassed my parents.

Aug 25
Colo
Broke camp went to rocky mt np (Rocky Mountain National Park) Climbed mt specimin (Mount Specimen) Saw chipmonks and marmits (a sort-of mountain woodchuck) a plane wave wings at us. When got home coached tramp olimpics for tomorrow but thats when we leeve for n.y.

I learned 2 tricks kneen flip + for. flip.

Climbing Mount Specimen was a lot of fun. The trail head itself was over ten thousand feet above sea level, nearly twice the height of the highest point in New York State, higher than I had ever been on solid ground before and since. We had two thousand feet to go. We hiked past the tundra line, where trees can't survive and only delicate lichen grew on the rocks—we were warned not to trod on or touch them. My mom and sister hiked to a certain point around eleven thousand feet and my dad, my brother, our cousins and I went the rest of the way. Even though it was August there was snow in a shady area below the ridge. I wanted to climb down to it just so i could say I made a snowball in August but my dad said it was too dangerous. A big valley was spread below us and a small plane was flying by nearly eye level with us. We waved and the pilot tipped his wings back and forth to return the gesture. The marmots were comic little creatures that seemed to have no fear of humans. Were we that far from civilization?

When we returned to my Uncle's house there was still daylight left. We jumped on David R's trampoline and prepared for what they were calling the “Tramp Olympics”. One of the tricks I learned I diagrammed with stick figures in my journal above. I remember landing right on my head during an early attempt at a forward flip. Apparently I was a coach of some sort, but the 'Olympics' themselves were scheduled for the day we were leaving to head home.
Aug 26
Colo. Wy. and S. Dakoda

Helped David losen this morning (for the Tramp Olympics)

Hated to say good by long lonely trip

Camped at a KOA kampground.

It really was tough to say goodbye especially to my cousin David. We had become good friends the way only kids at eleven can in such a short time. I was going to miss him and I could tell he was going to miss me. I never saw him after that.

We drove North through the Eastern most sliver of Wyoming which left me a bad impression of the place. It was hot flat and featureless. Our only stop was at a rest area to have lunch. It was filthy and in dire need of repairs. Hornets swarmed our food and we couldn't wait to get into South Dakota.

It wasn't our best day of travel but there was one thing we looked forward to. Friends of my parents, the Rensbergers, had given us a box of wrapped presents, one for each day of our trip. They weren't anyting fancy, things like activity books and a compact mesh hammock but we looked forward everyday to get to open another gift. On days like this one it was even more of a treat.

aug 27
S. Dakoda

Saw mt rushmor (not much) and mt Crazy horse sculpture (it's going to be huge) olsa saw flintstone village had neat play Ground. Went to famouse Wall Drugs ate supper there. See Family scrapbook for Wall Drug map.
Saw Badland nat moun!

I'm not sure why Mount Rushmore didn't make a very big impression on me. Crazy Horse seemed to impress me more even though it was so early on in it's construction that it was little more than a hole in the side of a mountain, but from the scale model of the finished sculpture at the guest center at the base of the mountain it was going to be spectacular.

As it turned out, thirty-five years later Crazy Horse is still only partly completed.

In the background is the mountain being carved 
to look just like the model in the foreground. 
Sadly The mountain didn't look to much different in 1976, 
only the face has been added since that time.

Flintstone Village was a schlocky tourist trap quasi amusement park that my parents wanted no part of. We begged and pleaded them to go until they acquiesced. It was at once a disappointed once we saw how run down and cheap the place was but it was also a hit of much needed kid fun. After seeing so many wholesome historic and natural attractions we were hungry for some good old kid sugar and Flintstone Village, in all it's plastic colorful splendor, was just the ticket.

 It was tourist franchise hell, but the kids won out over the adults

As we pulled out of Flintstone Village I saw something I'll never forget. There was a Native American dressed like a traditional chief with the head gear and the whole nine yards. He was so drunk he could barely stay on the horse he was riding. This conflicted with every image of Indians I had ever seen, including the old Indian that had given me the arrowhead in Eastern Colorado. Yet those two contrasting images, to my knowledge, were the only two Native Americans I had ever seen in the flesh.

If you've ever driven across South Dakota you know about Wall Drug, it's impossible not to. Wall drug started out as a small country drug store in the '30s that offered free ice water and dirt cheap coffee to travelers. They expanded both the store and the signs that advertised the place to the point where Wall Drug has become a mecca of restaurants, gift shops and attractions (almost a mall) that has signs nearly every miles for sixty miles in both directions. By the time we got to the Wall Drug exit we we so curious we simply had to stop.

One of the many, many Wall Drug billboards across South Dakota
 
The famous Wall Drug

In Mitchel SD, we drove by the famous Corn Palace. The fact that it was decorated with elaborate designs done in corn somehow I understood as the place was 'made of corn'.


You certainly have noticed that for a family vacation there is an absence if family photos. When we returned from our trip and processed the many rolls of film we shot almost all of them were lost. The few we have I wasn't able to have my dad scan in time.
aug 28
S.D. And minn
Climbed rocks, took guided nature tour got late start
stopped in minnasoto (Minnesota) for night

My journal for the day before before states that we saw the Badlands, but I was probably playing catch-up with my jounral and writing those entries a day or two after the fact. It was too dark to see anything when we set up camp in Badlands National Park. The next morning we woke to see where we were. It was as if we had taken a wrong exit and ended up on Mars! The landscape was like nothing I'd ever seen or dreamed about.


Most importantly there was few things my brother and I loved to do more than climb rocks, we lived for it. When we saw the climbing orgy of the badlands formations before us just begging to be scaled, we could hardly contain ourselves. The climbing was easy, we were sky high and nearly lost in no time. It's a lucky thing we didn't run across any snakes of other nastiness.

In Minnesota we stayed with some more college friends of my parents. After just a couple days of camping it was nice to be in a bed again. My brother and I explored the residential neighborhood and to our delight discovered some active rail tracks only a couple blocks from where we were staying. I climbed into an empty box car and sat in the open doorway. As was often the case growing up, I was doing something dangerous and stupid and my more sensible brother was nearby saying, “Uh Joel, I don't think this is a good idea (just ask me about the alligator in Florida). No sooner had he said that when the train lurched into motion. My only thought at the time was “awesome!” but I knew the fun was over when the train started to accelerate. I hopped off pretty quick preventing me from being able to tell a great story about how I accidentally skipped a train to Chicago or Milaukee.

(August 30th -date left off entry)
Min. Wis.

Left minnasota. Changed route
went wisconnson instead of canada
Visited Websters for night.

Apparently, we had planned to go home via Canada. I don't remember why these plans were scrapped but we may have simply been tired and eager to get home. We kids had never been away from home this long, nearly three weeks. The Websters were the only son and grandchildren of my Grandma Irene who was my grandfather's second wife so the Websters step cousinswere a family I had only met once before. The only thing I remember about that visit was that those kids started school the morning we left. I remember thinking how insane that was. Everyone in the world knows you don't start school till the Wednesday after Labor Day. That's a law of nature for heaven's sake!

Sept 1 '76
Wisc, Ill, Ind and Ohio

left wisconnson saw chickogo (Chicago) Ill. Ate lunch in Ind. Stayed at Holiday Inn, Swamm in indoor pool cut foot on side of pool.

Staying at a hotel was a big deal for us. We were all tired and there must have been a little extra money in the budget to splurge. The indoor pool was amazing to us as well. The fun was cut short when I did the same to my foot. My dad complained to the management, but nothing was done. We may have eaten dinner in a restaurant too but I don't remember.

Sept 2
Ohio Penn and NY
left Toledo (were we stayed) Plan to visit gramma Irene in Fredonia

(at the very bottom corned of the last page of my journal I wrote...)

Help!!

That night, sleeping in my own bed was wonderful. I didn't even mind starting 6th grade the next week because I had something to brag about. I had gone on the biggest trip of my little road warrior life. I had seen the world,

Or so I thought.

DOUBLE J's
Double Take
A Music & Personal Update
My last couple of practices, due to lack of time and a certain degree of laziness, I just plugged my bass into my guitar amp instead of the guitar amp/bass amp dual rig with the pedal board and various effects and tuners and cables. It is true however that there will be times that I will have to show up at a small club, plug into only the guitar amp with my bass, sing into a single microphone and still  be entertaining. It sounded pretty darn good actually but I won't be selling all the other gear either.

I am starting to plan for a Rochester ,New York show that will correspond with my wife's birthday. We will be in town for Christmas and she's met so many new friends from my old stomping grounds that she wanted to have her birthday at a club and have me play. I sure don't want to disappoint! I will provide details as they solidify.

My weight loss has sort-of plateaued this week, but not because I've been bad or lazy. I kept up my diet nicely and exercised for an hour every day. Just one of those things I suppose. I'm less than 10 pounds away from a major goal.

I must also confess that even though it's a little childish, I find myself motivated by the prospect of my celebrity crush, Lindsay Davenport, noticing I am slimmer when we started producing "US Open Tonight" at Tennis Channel in a couple weeks. If not Lindsay then perhaps some of the other crew who haven't seen me in a year.

It could happen.